Dark Days

by Kim on November 9, 2016 · 14 comments

darkness

This is not the blog post I expected to write today. It is not the blog post I wanted to write. It is hard to write at all. I am stunned.

Like many of you, I believe that today is a very dark day for our country. I am bewildered. I am shocked. I am scared. I am angry and I am sad.

And yet, I feel I must acknowledge my own responsibility in this. I did not see this coming. Although it has been in front of me the entire time, I chose not to see it. I took for granted the rights I was certain were here to stay. I dismissed Trump supporters as angry, uneducated, bigots grasping frantically to a time that has passed. I never tried to find a bridge between us. I never tried. Meanwhile, these Americans, feeling ignored and disenfranchised, cast their vote for a man who mirrors their anger. And it has led us here.

As I lay in bed last night with a deep well of despair spreading in my belly, a nightmare I could not wake from, my first instinct was to run. To flee a country that no longer represents me, to escape a president-elect I fear is very dangerous. I have an obligation to protect my daughter, after all. I can not let a man who has said such disgusting things about women represent her. I cannot let a man who preaches the rhetoric of fear and hate act as her voice.

And yet, I know it is a privilege to even consider an escape. My passport affords me this power (for now). My economic status gives me this choice. There are many more of us that woke this morning with no way to run and no place to run to. This country was supposed to be our safe harbor.

I will not run from this disgraceful moment in our history. Because this is my country too. Instead, I will stand in the blinding white hotness of my own pain and despair. I will never forget the way I feel right now. I will use this feeling in the days, weeks, months and years that follow. This feeling will fuel me as I fight for everything I believe in: Love, diversity, equality, inclusivity, reproductive rights, a healthy planet and freedom and justice for all.

Friends, you will see me marching. You will hear my voice on the phone as I lobby for a world that supports and loves us all. You will find me on the streets. I will not be silenced and I will not stand for this. The fire that burns in my belly is growing ever stronger. Bring your fire. Meet me there.

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