Happy anniversary Brian

by Kim on July 28, 2013 · 66 comments

Do you remember last summer driving eastward through Iowa? We heard a radio interview with a gay man who said he’d been “reformed.” He called himself a recovering homosexual. He’d been married to a woman for 12 years. He said marriage was bliss. “Every day is bliss,” he’d said and we laughed and you said, “Now I know he’s lying.”

Marriage isn’t bliss and love isn’t either. Marriage is life with all of its big and little things. It’s hard and it’s sad and it’s funny and it’s complicated and it’s beautiful. It’s like India or a really good book. Despite its ups and downs and unexpected plot twists, we still walk out into the madness of the street. We still turn the page.

If our marriage were a human we would be six years old today. We’d be wearing big boy underwear and barely ever peeing our pants. And in the fall we’d be heading off to kindergarten. We would wait nervously at the bus stop in our best new shirt with a school-issued identification tag pinned to the front of it. Six. Old enough to step out into the world but not old enough to be trusted to find our way back home again. Which pretty much perfectly sums us up.

We are human and we do human things. We pick fights and ignore each other. We are sweet and funny and considerate sometimes, and other times we are moody and selfish. But mostly, we are good. We are good to each other. And I know that on the longest nights, during the scariest moments, when the bad news hits, you will be beside me. And I beside you. Love is the way we make life easier for each other, how we bear the burdens and celebrate the best things.

On days like today, our anniversary, I always remember the beginning. You with your long hair and your silent certainty. Me with my big mouth and my cigarettes. We would squeeze together in a bar booth and you would put your hand on my knee and a current of energy would shoot through my body.

I wasn’t thinking of love then. I certainly wasn’t thinking of marriage. I wasn’t thinking of growing older or growing up. I wasn’t thinking of the millions of directions that life might take me in, or us in, together. All I knew in that moment was that I liked you next to me. And it has been that way every day since.

Happy anniversary, Brian.

marriage 1

EPSON MFP image

email-footer

RELATED POSTS:

{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }

Patti July 28, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Lovely (and honest) sentiment! Congratulations on your anniversary, we are 1/2 way through our 34th year together and I can testify that you hit the nail on the head and yes… anyone who tells you that everyday is bliss, is SO lying!
Patti recently posted..Bon appetit!

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:19 am

Wow, Patti… 34 years! Amazing.

Reply

Brian July 28, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Thank you, baby. Happy anniversary to you, too. I love you.

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:20 am

XO

Reply

Carmel July 28, 2013 at 3:49 pm

You two are the absolute cutest!! I love your description of marriage. It certainly is everything in life all rolled into one complicated and rewarding package. I’ve never worked harder on anything in my life or reaped as many rewards. Happy anniversary to one phenomenal couple!!
Carmel recently posted..INTRODUCING…

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:21 am

Yes, I agree. Lots of work, lots of rewards. Bliss every once in awhile but definitely not always. Sort of just like everything good. XO

Reply

Rhonda July 28, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Beautifully written, as always. Congratulations and happy Anniversary to two of our favorite people. I must admit, I didn’t even recognize you from your wedding picture! With Brian completely clean shaven and you with long hair we did a double take!
Best wishes for continued happiness. XOXO Rhonda & Jim.
Rhonda recently posted..Foto Friday

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:22 am

I know, those photos don’t look like us at all, do they???? We look so young.

Reply

Jacqueline July 28, 2013 at 4:31 pm

Love these photos and how much you two support one another and your adventurous dreams! Here’s to a lifetime of fun, joy, & dream making! :)
Jacqueline recently posted..Turning 30: The Best Years Are Here!

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:22 am

Thanks Jacqueline.

Reply

Lauren July 28, 2013 at 5:46 pm

So pretty, your words and the pictures. Love you both!

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:22 am

Thanks Lauren. Love you too.

Reply

acrosstheneversky July 28, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Beautiful photos, and beautiful message!
acrosstheneversky recently posted..London! (No, not that London.)

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:23 am

Thank you. It was fun to write.

Reply

Maddie July 28, 2013 at 6:41 pm

Congratulations to you both :-) What beautiful words as always and your wedding photos are gorgeous.
Maddie recently posted..Thailand round-up

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:23 am

Thanks Maddie. Hey, your one-year anniversary should be coming up here pretty soon, right?

Reply

Maddie July 31, 2013 at 6:03 am

Good memory! Yep, 1 year on the 13th August, it doesn’t feel like five minutes ago :-)
Maddie recently posted..Thailand round-up

Reply

Hannah July 28, 2013 at 7:29 pm

Congratulations you two! This was such a beautiful sentiment, and I just LOVE the photos of you both – how different Brian looks without his beard and baseball cap! May the next six years bring you just as much joy. Love to you both xxx
Hannah recently posted..An adventure by any other name

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:24 am

Thanks Hannah :) I know, I just don’t think Brian looks like himself AT ALL in the photos. It’s like I married a different person!

Reply

Jessica July 28, 2013 at 8:28 pm

Happy anniversary! Beautiful wedding photos!
Jessica recently posted..Non-Alcoholic Napa: 10 Things to Do in Napa Valley Without Wine

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:24 am

Thanks Jessica.

Reply

Kim July 28, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Happy Anniversary to you both!

Kim, your post read like a book… I wanted to know more and wanted it to never end…

What a gift of writing…

What a wonderful life you two of lead together and continue to do so… Happy Anniversary!

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:25 am

Thanks Kim, that means a lot!

Reply

Ngina July 29, 2013 at 6:05 am

Happy Anniversary. Those pics are beautiful…you guys clean up pretty good!LOL

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:25 am

Not sure we’d clean up so nice now… but maybe!

Reply

Rachel July 29, 2013 at 6:08 am

Beautiful post and gorgeous wedding pictures. Happy Anniversary!
Rachel recently posted..Left Behind: rediscovering trinkets of our travels

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:25 am

Thank you Rachel :)

Reply

Paul Farrugia (globalhelpswap) July 29, 2013 at 7:11 am

Like I said on facebook: Happy anniversary and thank you for allowing us to read such beautiful words.

Paul x
Paul Farrugia (globalhelpswap) recently posted..A day in the Cotswolds

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:26 am

Thanks Paul… and thank you for following along.

Reply

Ali July 29, 2013 at 8:30 am

Congrats on 6 years! Crazy to see those pictures of you with long hair and Brian with no beard at all.
Ali recently posted..What NOT to Pack in Your Carry-On Bag

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:26 am

Thanks Ali! It’s crazy how different you can look in six years, you know? Because really it’s not that much time.

Reply

Steph (@ 20 Years Hence) July 29, 2013 at 8:34 am

Happy Anniversary to the both of you! Marriage can be so hard and get so messy at times, but when you’ve hitched yourself to the right person, deep down it’s all so very simple and I think you get to the essence of that in the last two beautiful lines of your post: it’s about liking having that person beside you from day one until the last.

Lovely tribute & it was such a kick getting to see your wedding photos! Whither Brian’s beard?!?
Steph (@ 20 Years Hence) recently posted..The Beauty of Getting Lost in Tainan

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:27 am

I like that “hitched yourself to the right person…” I suppose that’s where the term comes from (duh Kim)

Reply

Kaitie @ The Smiling Sightseer July 29, 2013 at 8:37 am

This is so beautiful, happy anniversary Kim & Brian!
Kaitie @ The Smiling Sightseer recently posted..Quote of the Week

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:27 am

Thank you Kaitie!

Reply

Ashlie July 29, 2013 at 9:46 am

“We’d be wearing big boy underwear and barely ever peeing our pants.” <– Lol, I love that. It's such a great analogy. *Cheers* to you both!!
Ashlie recently posted..Name Your Dream

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:28 am

Thanks Ashlie. It is sort of weird (and entertaining) to think of our relationship in terms of aging like humans age.

Reply

Deborah July 29, 2013 at 10:07 am

Damn it, Kim!! Lately I need to have a pack of tissues handy when I read your posts because they always make me cry!! This is beautiful!! Happy Anniversary to two of the luckiest souls I know — with the codicil being that I believe we make our own luck, and you guys are brave and creative and hard-working, which makes the best kind of luck in life.

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:29 am

I am secretly working for Kleenex. ;) Thank you Deborah for this wonderful comment and for your support. XO

Reply

Tracy July 29, 2013 at 10:11 am

Happy Anniversary you two!! And thanks for letting us all know that it is possible to look like you have it all figured out when underneath you’re just a nervous six year old

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 11:29 am

Hey, you should know that about us!!! Nobody has it all figured it out. We’re all just figuring it out as we go. XO. Miss you Tracy.

Reply

Sarah Somewhere July 29, 2013 at 1:16 pm

A very happy anniversary guys! Love the photos, your are both so young!! I know its obvious, but isn’t it funny when you see old photos of yourselves?! I agree, its like you were totally different people, which is why its so wonderful you have grown alongside each other, and hung on. It’s such a gift to you both and I wish you many more adventures together!
Sarah Somewhere recently posted..One more day

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 2:04 pm

I know, we look 400 years younger! Damn we’ve aged a lot in six years. Must be the stress of marriage ;)

Reply

Hogga July 29, 2013 at 1:25 pm

happy anniversary!
Hogga recently posted..Honging the Kong

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 2:05 pm

Thanks Lindsay!

Reply

tyrhone July 29, 2013 at 2:32 pm

Congratulations Y’all, it’s nice to have someone in the world you know you can depend on. I’m glad you both found that and can celebrate the fact 6 years on.
tyrhone recently posted..Buying a car in Mexico! Viva le bureaucracy

Reply

Kim July 29, 2013 at 6:07 pm

Yep, it sure is. Thanks Tyrhone.

Reply

Adrian July 29, 2013 at 7:44 pm

I love the schoolboy analogy. Extremely well written, Kim. My only question is who is the handsome dude in the photos with you?
Adrian recently posted..Traveling Sick – A Crash Diet That Actually Works

Reply

Kim July 30, 2013 at 7:02 am

Yep, I have no idea who that guy is. Don’t tell Brian I married someone else.

Reply

Rob July 29, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Awwww, this is ace! Happy anniversary to both of you, what a fantastic way to describe marriage. Best wishes for many more years!
Rob recently posted..A message from an old friend

Reply

Kim July 30, 2013 at 7:02 am

Thanks Rob!

Reply

Marissa July 30, 2013 at 5:55 am

Happy Anniversary to you guys! I really liked the marriage/child analogy – maybe someday I’ll know firsthand!

Congratulations :)
Marissa recently posted..Process of Elimination

Reply

Kim July 30, 2013 at 7:02 am

Thanks Marissa. It’s strange to think of marriage as a human. We’re growing up!

Reply

Annie @ Oranje Explorers July 30, 2013 at 8:13 am

Beautiful post, and what an interesting way to describe your relationship, as a person or more specifically as a child. Growing each year. :)
Annie @ Oranje Explorers recently posted..Spain’s Devastating Train Crash

Reply

Kim July 30, 2013 at 8:46 am

Ha… maybe I need an excuse to throw tantrums and act like a baby every once in awhile. We’re growing up though :)

Reply

Les Petits Pas de Juls July 30, 2013 at 12:03 pm

Superb declaration! Happy anniversary to you both and cheers to the next adventures!
Les Petits Pas de Juls recently posted..Paris in July, a path less travelled

Reply

Kim July 31, 2013 at 6:31 am

Thank you very much!

Reply

Michelle July 30, 2013 at 12:44 pm

Love this, Kim! My hubby and I just celebrated our 6 years a few weeks ago too. It does feel like we put on the big boy underpants. Well said. ;)

Maybe other people are just way better at marriage than I am, but “bliss” and “fairy tale” just aren’t words I’d use to describe it! Beautiful, yes. But bliss?! One of my most honest posts about marriage is still one of the most popular on my blog. I think people really crave honesty when we talk about marriage, and want to know that they’re not just a bigger screw-up than anyone else!

Here’s my marriage post, if you’re interested: http://michelledevereaux.blogspot.com/2012/11/this-summer-i-celebrated-5-years-of.html

Cheers to 6 years!!
Michelle recently posted..The Year of What Now?

Reply

Kim July 31, 2013 at 6:33 am

Oh man, Michelle, I love this comment. I’d say you are probably just as bad (or good) at marriage as the rest of us. Which is to say you screw up a lot of the time (I know I do!). Heading to read your post about marriage now.

Reply

Victoria July 30, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Gorgeous post Kim. Happy Anniversary :)
Victoria recently posted..Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it: Energy 101

Reply

Kim July 31, 2013 at 6:33 am

Thanks Victoria :)

Reply

Jessica J. Hill July 31, 2013 at 5:50 pm

What a beautiful love story! I love that you compared your relationship to a six year old – it really does say it all perfectly. It seems you guys made it home once, so I’m sure you can do it again…on your own time, of course. ;-)
Jessica J. Hill recently posted..This American Life: I Drive a John Deere

Reply

Kim August 1, 2013 at 7:15 am

Yeah, maybe I should have said, “Not old enough to be trusted to WANT to find our way home again.” ;)

Reply

Montecristo Travels (Sonja) August 1, 2013 at 11:42 am

That was lovely. Really really lovely. And thank you for sharing it with all of us like that. Stefan and I also have now entered the six year mark. And although in ways I can’t say I feel the same (we never feel like its work – is that weird? we’ve never fought either and I would say we have far far more ups than downs …) I agree that bliss is a silly word.

Have we on occasion gone into our personal spaces too long? absolutely. Have we at times been more selfish and inward looking than is good for a relationship? certainly. Have we been less patient than needed now and then? Of course. So thank you for sharing this honest post Kim. And happy Anniversary to you both.
Montecristo Travels (Sonja) recently posted..When Travel Plans Go Belly Up!

Reply

TammyOnTheMove August 7, 2013 at 1:51 am

Happy anniversary you two! Your wedding photo is gorgeous. You make such a lovely couple. Here is to many more anniversaries!
TammyOnTheMove recently posted..Blog tools review: WordPress, DreamHost and ProBlogger

Reply

Kim August 7, 2013 at 8:11 am

Thanks Tammy :)

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge