The Fear of Dreaming And Failing

by design on December 18, 2010 · 14 comments

We’ve decided not to tell most of our friends and family about this blog until we’ve purchased our one-way ticket to New Zealand, the first country on our itinerary (update: that’s not the first stop on our itinerary anymore).  There’s really one reason why we’re holding back, and it’s the fear of what if this doesn’t happen?

And, you know, what if this doesn’t happen?  What if we try, try, try and still fail?  What if we can’t sell our house, or even rent it?  What if we lose our jobs tomorrow and can’t make our savings goal?  What if there’s a heath crisis?  Maybe my real fear is this: What if this doesn’t happen and then people feel sorry for us

I’ll blab all day long about our dream to travel the world and our plans to do it.  But displaying this blog to the world and stating our intentions and plans on (virtual) paper makes everything so much more real.  One of the reasons I started the blog is because I believe that you have to say your dreams out loud (and then work like hell to make them come true).  Stating our dream out loud makes us no more vulnerable to failure than if we were to remain quiet about it, but it does make us more vulnerable to the world’s reaction to it. 

And, you know, I know I shouldn’t care about what other people think and that I should just be proud that I’m trying, even if I never succeed and blah, blah, blah.  But you know what?  I do care.  That’s just how it is.  I’m being honest. 

So, that’s how I feel today, about a year before we leave on our adventure.  Happy, excited, nervous, and a little bit scared – scared of the unknown, scared of giving away all of our stuff, scared of being homeless (!), and, more than anything, scared that it might never happen.